Central

Here I am, awash in North Carolina, soothing my nerves with reports about baseball and this and that. Soon we'll have VPs and conventions and debates. The world series will happen and then it won't matter and then we'll look back on it all and know more about what it all means. Bernie Mac died two days ago. Isaac Hayes died today or yesterday. Morgan Freeman got in a car accident. Keep breathing everyone. Notice your breath. Notice the sky. Be aware of bears and baseballs.

The A.L. Central is upside down. Of course, this statement defies reality. The A.L. Central is what it is. The Tigers are looking raggedy. Their hair is messed up. They are sleepy. Every once in a while they take down a bison and we all nod our heads and say "Yes, these are the tigers we know. The ones we have read about. The ones that will rise to the top of the mountain," but it seems that will not happen during this administration. If I were them I would donate $1000 for every homerun hit to tiger conservation, and players signed through at least next year should give the legal max to Obama.

The Indians are fools. They are more talented than any of us, but they insist on losing. Chief Wahoo laughs at all of them. He is the most foolish but he gets the joke. I'm really excited about the Watchmen movie coming out (next year I think). The Cleveland Indian franchise should make a human-sized Chief Wahoo and burn it in effigy at Burning Man. They should get on that. I think Burning Man is coming up soon.

The Royals can be good or bad. Joe Posnanski will be brilliant either way. Still, I feel it is time for them to be good. As the Japanese say, please try it.

The White Sox and Twins are defying gravity. That's why I thought the division was upside down. The state of this division is a stark reminder in the difficulties of telling the future. Is it safe to say that this team would be in great shape if it had Johan Santana? Would his coming departure be too much of a distraction. The Marlins and Twins occupy a similar mental category for me. Feisty young teams that I am just now coming to accept as contenders. The Rays, Marlins and Twins might all win their divisions this year. The times they are a-changin'. I would try to explain it to North Carolina, but I don't know if it would be worth the considerable effort.