Relief

I am pleased that we got K-Rod and thrilled we got Putz.
I am neither pleased nor thrilled with their names. I kind of think K-Rod is a dumb nickname, but I can't stop using it. Francisco Rodriguez feels like a cumbersome title- as if I'm also using his middle name and an honorific. I'm not sure what my beef with "K-Rod" is. It's not really that bad. I just have odd mental rules about naming someone after what they do (the K is for strikeout). I think if we're calling him "strikeout-Rod" he ought to be freaky good at striking people out. Please hold while I capture some hard data on that with some of my internets.

In 2002, Mr. K recorded 17 regular season outs, 13 of which were strikeouts. That is absolutely worthy of the name K-Rod. Still, when Benny Agbayani made his major league debut, he whacked an absurd 10 home runs in 73 at bats, but no one coronated him "Benny Agbayhomerunny" or even "Ag-homer." A nickname like K-Rod needs to be earned. Last year Rodriguez struck out 10.14 batters per 9 innings, which is really good, but plenty (14) relievers were better. The two years before he was better with a 12.03 K/9 in '07 and 12.08 in '06, good enough for fifth both times.

I'd say K-Rod has been good enough to maintain his nickname, but if you were starting from scratch, you might give him a more conservative "F-Rod," which would be a good support base for the Mets' next up and coming potential star, F-Mart (Fernando Martinez). Now, K-Mart, if, for the sake of argument/ramblement, Rodriguez and Martinez were to swap last names, K-Mart I would be more lenient with, because of the accidental department store crossover.

As for our other big-name bullpen acquisition, Mr. J.J. Putz- love it. Love. It. For all the fliff-splashing the Bronxasaurus has been doing, I think the Putz trade might be the best move of the offseason. It makes the Mets bullpen go from passable to great. It means that K-Rod can be the capital c Closer while Putz can be used where he's needed most, sometimes getting outs more crucial to a win than the final 3, and that's good news, because from what I hear, Putz is the better pitcher.

It also means that at some point in the year, Putz will blunder and give up a lead, and the New York Post will print a picture on the back page of J.J. with his head hung, possibly with an opposing player circling the bases in the background, and the headline will read "What a Putz." This, like the economic slide and the end of the Long Count, is not a negotiable outcome. It is a certainty. A when, not an if. Why oh why does anyone read the New York Post.